Peppermint Meringue and What it Taught Me About Humility.

Yesterday, I made a Peppermint Meringue.

Let me rephrase that.

Yesterday, I TRIED to make a Peppermint Meringue.

It didn't go well.

I had no idea what went wrong! I thought I followed the recipe EXACTLY as it said to. but after beating that sucker for almost an hour and a half, (call me what you want, but I'm no quitter.) It still only resembled a slightly thicker and better smelling bowl of elmers glue. Like this:

See? Not a peak in sight! So I gave up and dumped the whole thing in the trash. Of course, I wasn't satisfied with not knowing what the problem was so I investigated. I found that although I followed the recipe to the T, I still made the meringue wrong. I added the sugar too quickly, and I added it too soon. So really, my meringue never had a chance.  It would have stayed this way no matter how long or fast I was beating it. I didn't have all the information I needed to be successful.

So I went on with my chores, and I thought about that darn Meringue all day long.  I thought about how I wished that I had had someone there to teach me how to do it correctly, and I realized that I had had that opportunity, and I didn't take it.  A woman from our church brought Ryan and I a pie yesterday as a thank you for helping her with her roof. It was delicious. Chocolate cream pie with a- you guessed it- meringue on top.  She made the whole thing from scratch and she was right there, RIGHT when I was freaking out over my bowl of paste, and I could have just asked her! I even thought about doing it but, I was too embarrassed to show her my messy house and my failure of a recipe.

I do this a lot.  I don't like being looked at like I'm dumb so I don't ask for help. I just act like I know what I'm doing until I can figure out how to make it look passable. I did it with school, I did it with sewing, I do it REGULARLY with Ryan, I did it with this stupid meringue, and I even do it in my relationship with Christ. Why do I do this? What is my problem?!?!? The answer is simple.

I'm a prideful person.

It's not the first time I've heard it. but I've never admitted how much of a problem it is. Pride really is the definition of getting in your own way  Being embarrassed? Being afraid of what someone will think of you? It's a vanity, and it prevents you from being the best that you can be.

So over the past 24 hours I've had this HUGE  piece of revelation dawn on me.but changing is a lot easier said than done.  How do you just stop being afraid? One of my favorite things I have ever heard is this. "Fear is the opposite of Faith." So in this situation, by being afraid of what others will think, that shows a lack of faith in my friends, and even worse, a lack of faith in myself. And it's all completely unfounded. They've never done anything to make me think that they wouldn't continue to love me, even if I was an imbecile. I am not stupid, so why would they think that I am? It's just a big bag of silliness. It's a waste of time. and I hate wasting time.  This guy said something really neat about discovering humility in ourselves. "We don't discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; We discover humility by thinking less about ourselves." So let's think less about ourselves, and think more of those around us. In every way.

Isn't it amazing what you can learn from a bowl of sugar and egg whites?