Reading in 2015

So today let's talk books. Rather, let's talk about reading.

I don't read as much as I should, or as much as I want to. Which is interesting, because I love reading. People don't usually think that when they talk to me but I do. I love being transported somewhere or reading the ideas of someone else. Fiction is like getting to be inside someone else's imagination, but I love non-fiction as well. So next year, I want to read more. I have a few books that I read religiously every year, like the Harry Potter series and Jane Eyre, but there are so many other books I want to read as well, so I decided to make a list, by basic genre of 2 or 3 books/series that I want to try next year. Some of these are books that haven't been released yet and some of these have been out for awhile but I haven't gotten to try yet. But all of them look exciting to me.

Books I Want to Read in 2015

Young Adult Fiction--

This is probably the genre I read the most. It's fiction so you get transported but at the same time it's not as bracing and aggressive as adult fiction can be sometimes. There's usually less sex and language in YA fiction so it's more comfortable for me to read. 

1) Winter by Marissa Meyer

I love Love LOVE The Lunar Chronicle Series by Marissa Meyer. You know how I said yesterday that I love every reincarnation of Cinderella that I've ever read? Well, the first book in this series is called "Cinder" and it's one of my very favorites. The fourth book in the series "Winter" comes out in November and I am really looking forward to it. but WAIT, there's more! Coming out in January 2015 is a prequel of types called "Fairest". It's about Levana, the evil queen. So January I'll get a little taste and then I can reread the entire series in preparation for Winter! 

2) The Selection Series by Kiera Cass

I actually wanted to read this series in 2014, but I didn't. Instead, I'm going to read the whole thing next year. This in another series where the fourth book is coming out in 2015 (called "The Heir") I've picked it up a couple times at the book store and read a page here and there and it seems like a good read, as well as a story that can quickly suck you in. So I'm hopeful that it will live up to my expectations. 

Memoirs--

I'm not sure if this is the right thing to call this category, but oh well. I've been waiting to read these, and this year I'm going to.

1) Bossypants by Tina Fey

Tina Fey.  I don't think I need to elaborate further. 

2) Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me and Other Concerns by Mindy Kaling

Again, Mindy Kaling.  I think she's hilarious and has a fun way of expressing her world view. 

3) Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson

I really like funny women okay! This is Jenny Lawson's first book and I love reading her blog so I can't wait to read this (even if I am a couple years behind) 

4) Food: A Love Story by Jim Gaffigan

Okay, I guess I just generally love funny people.  Jim Gaffigan is one of my favorite comedians. I love that he can make me laugh deep in my belly without being crude or overt amounts of profanity. Also, I love food, so I'm expecting a lot of love for this book. 

Chiclit--

Ah, the Chiclit. That fine piece of literature that is written for women (usually by women). Usually a pretty easy read, usually about girl power in some sort of way. 

1) 45 Pounds (More or Less) by K.A. Barson

I guess this is technically also young adult fiction, but  I don't care.  As someone who has dealt with wight issues, I am interested how this book talks about being comfortable in your own skin to the audience of teenage girls. 

2) Attachments by Rainbow Rowell

I am so SO looking forward to reading this book. It seems very "Shop Around the Corner"-esque, and I love that.  It's about a guy that works as "internet security" for a News station and how he falls in love with a reporter there through reading her emails.  It seems like a fun read. 

LDS Books--

I love all church books, but I only give myself a few every year because I also do a lot of scripture and other curriculum study.  Here's three that I'm hoping to get to and if I do then I can add more to my list! 

1) It is Better to Look Up! Life Experiences of the Pulpit

General Conference is one of my favorite things.  I always get something out of it, even if it's just one thing. I really want to read (and own!) this compilation of stories from different general conference talks. Personal experiences from others always teach me more than anything else.

2) Women and the Priesthood by Sheri Dew

I got this book for my birthday in 2014 and I haven't made the time to sit down and read it.  I've heard Sheri Dew speak a few times and I have always thought of her as bright and intelligent. I've also always thought of myself as equal with priesthood holders in the gospel, although I know that there are those that don't.  So I look forward to reading her perspective on this. 

3) Covenant Hearts: Why Marriage Matters and How to Make it Last by Bruce C. Hafen

We are in a really good place in our marriage right now. Really happy. Do you know what I attribute that to? A combination of a lot of different things, but a big one is not resting on our laurels.  Continuously trying to learn how to to make our relationship better.  I look forward to adding this book to the list of other books that have taught us about having a healthy relationship.

Ambitious Reads--

These are the big ones. Really, I'll be lucky if I get one of these finished.  but I always have a couple on my list to challenge myself. 

1)Jesus the Christ by James E. Talmage

This has been on my list for 8 years. I have read the first 40 pages and then I put it down because my head hurts.  Maybe I'll find a way to break it up. so I can take breaks while reading.  

2) The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

I'm always hearing about this book but I actually don't know what it's about. I'm interested enough to look at it though. 

3) C.S. Lewis by Till We Have Faces

I really like C.S. Lewis as a rule.  The Chronicles of Narnia are one of those series that I read every year.  I got a copy of this book as a gift a couple years ago and never read it. Maybe this year I can crack it open.

4) The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling

When I went to visit my sister in March 2014 there were two books that she kept saying "YOU HAVE TO READ THIS" (As she does. ;)) One was "The Fault in Our Stars" and the other was "The Casual Vacancy".  So I read TFIOS and I cried and cried. Then I read it again and cried and cried some more. So I trust Susan's suggestions. So this book makes the list. 

So here are a few books that I'm hoping to get to read this week. I know it's a lot but I figure if I have a large list to try and complete then I'll definitely at least read more than I have been. That's a good way to keep a goal right? Anyway, what books are you planning to read soon? Do you have any I should add to my list? Tell me about them! I want to know!

Seven Movies I'm Excited to Watch in 2015

I love Ashley at From A to Z and she recently did a really great post on books she wanted to read in 2015. Her list was so inspiring that I've decided to do a little mini series this week on what I'm excited about this year.

If you know me, you know how much I love a movie. They are honestly some of my most favorite things, and I love all of them, from Disney to musicals, to action, to scary to romance. I love all of them. and 2015 is shaping up to be such a GREAT year for movies I wanted to tell you the ones I'm the most excited to see this year.

A Note-- I have not put any sequels on this list, although there are MANY that I am excited about. Which is why you won't see Avengers: Age of Ultron, Pitch Perfect 2, Fast 7, or Star Wars: The Force Awakens on this list. Just rest assured, they are definitely there. Also, I don't watch rated R movies soooo.... you won't find them here either.

So without further ado...

Seven Movies I Am Excited About in 2015

1) The Last 5 Years. 

While everyone else in the world is watching "Fifty Shades of Grey" I am (hopefully) going to get to see this. I say hopefully, because it's only coming out in a limited release, and I DESPERATELY want to see it. It's a musical based off of the stage play about the relationship of a couple. It's interesting because it's told in opposite directions. The mans story is told from the beginning to the end and the woman's is told from the end backwards. The entire movie is singing. with very little dialogue and I can't even express how excited I am about this movie. Opens February 13th. 

2) Still Alice

Another one I'm excited about is this drama called "Still Alice". This movie is about a professional linguist that starts to forget words and is diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's, and how she and her family deal with her deteriorating condition. I'm looking forward to this for several reasons. First, I love Julianne Moore. Second, I enjoy movies that explore human nature and familial relationships. Thirdly, I have a sister that is a talented writer and I can only imagine how devastating it would be if she couldn't do the thing that she loves. So I'm intrigued to see that aspect of this film. Opens January 16th

3) Cinderella

  

I cry literally EVERY time that I see the trailer for this movie.  EVERY. TIME. I just love Cinderella so so much. I have loved every single reincarnation of the story that I have ever read. And after seeing Maleficent in 2014 and seeing how well that movie was done, I have extremely high hopes for this one.  Also, Helena Bonham Carter as the Fairy Godmother? Stop. I can't wait! Opens March 13th

4)  The Age of Adaline

This movie is about a woman born in 1908, is in a car accident and somehow becomes immortal (I wish that could actually happen because then I'd stop finding wrinkles and grey hair!). From what I can tell, it takes you through her life and there's definitely some romance involved. And since I love a love story....:) Opens April 24th

5) Tomorrowland 

Every time I see the lead actress for this movie (Britt Robertson) I always think "YOU ARE A MURDERER OF LOVE!!!" because she played the incredibly passionate teenager Cara in "Dan in Real Life", which is one of my favorite movies. That aside, this movie looks fun. And I like that the picked a girl to be the teen bursting with scientific curiosity.  I feel like we don't see enough really intelligent girls in Young Adult films. Strong, Brave, Independent? Yes. Truly smart? Not really. :) Anyway, I'm excited to see how this movie turns out, and added bonus- George Clooney plays a former boy genius. Which I think might be type-casting at it's finest. Opens May 22nd

6) Pan

Everyone that knows me well, knows that I have a BIG. GIANT. FANCRUSH. on Hugh Jackman. BUT I'm unused to seeing Mr. Jackman in the role of villain, which is one reason I'm so excited about this! Also, I'm glad it's telling the beginning. Hook being the hero might be a little weird to see at first, but I like Tiger Lily WAY more than Tinkerbell so, I'm good with anything else that comes with this. Also, WE SEE PETERS MOTHER. Lots of things to look forward to in this movie. Opens July 24th

7) Inside Out 

There are apparently a LOT of people that are unhappy about this movie, but I think it looks GREAT! And what a great teaching tool for kids! People get disconnected with their emotions too easily, and often, children are taught to completely ignore them instead of learning how to name their feelings and learn how to recognize and control their responses. Anyway, I didn't mean for this to turn into a rant, but I'm really excited about seeing something new from Pixar after it's long line of sequels recently.  Opens June 19th 

Honorable Mentions

-- The Longest Ride- This is the new Nicholas Sparks movie.  It also stars Britt Robertson, AND ALAN ALDA (not as her love interest. Gross) . I'm going to read the book as well. Opens April 10th

-- The Martian- Also based off of a book, this movie stars Matt Damon as an astronaut who gets stranded on Mars. It's slated to come out in late November, which makes it a perfect late birthday present for Ryan! He just finished the book and LOVED it.  Although, with the amount of language in the book, I am concerned that the currently unrated movie will end up rated R for profanity. Fingers crossed it's not. Opens November 25th.


I'm so excited about these films and so many others! Have I missed anything though? What movies are YOU looking forward to? 

  

The Best Pasta I Have Ever Had

So the other night I was knocking around in the kitchen trying to decide what to make for dinner.  I had seen this recipe for "Million Dollar Spaghetti" It looks good, but I didn't have all the ingredients for it.  Mostly, I was missing Cottage Cheese. So I had to look for something else. Then I found the mother of all pasta bakes.  Honestly, I've never eaten anything so good, ever in recent memory. :) So, here is the link to the best pasta I have ever eaten, but for those of you that are lazy, here's the recipe below.

The Best Spaghetti You Will Ever Eat

Ingredients:

8 oz. spaghetti (I didn't have spaghetti in the cupboard so I just used Rotini)

1 lb. ground beef

1 (26.5 oz) can spaghetti sauce (I used Hunt's Four Cheese)

1 Tbsp Butter

1/2 c chopped green peppers (I actually used a small can of diced green chilies- drained)

1/3 c chopped onions (Half a small onion, roughly)

8 oz. cream cheese (softened)

2 Tbsp milk

Fresh grated Parmesan Cheese

French Fried Onions (I like the cheddar ones, but regular is fine)

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2. Cook pasta according to directions on the package, but cook to al dente, because it will continue to cook later in the oven. 

3. Brown the ground beef. Drain grease, Add spaghetti sauce to skillet and simmer. 

4. Combine veggies and butter, cover and microwave 4 minutes until soft.  Add cream cheese and milk and stir well.
5. Layer a 9x13 glass baking dish in the following order, thin layer of sauce, cooked pasta, cream cheese mixture, remaining sauce, parmesan cheese.
6. Bake for 25 minutes. Top with french-friend onions and bake for 5 more minutes.

So really, try this. You won't regret it. It's delicious. and you don't want to deny your stomach such crazy goodness. :) 

Bless This House... And All the Crazy People In It.

Ryan and I had a kind of last minute Christmas Party last week. Because it was so last minute, not very many people were able to come so it was just six of us. Luckily, the two couples that were able to come are some of my favorite people. :) So we divided up into boys versus girls (or in this case- husbands versus wives) and got into cars and did a scavenger hunt! It was SO much fun! We did so many things. Here's our list:

-- Wash someone’s car windows 
-- Help someone load their groceries onto the check-out line. (extra points if you help them load them in their car)
-- Find a house lit up with only white Christmas Lights 
-- Christmas Carol at a member of the Bishoprics house
-- Penny from before 2005
-- A schedule of activities or pamphlet or information of volunteer opportunities from a local nursing home –OR- hospital.
-- Christmas Wrapping Paper
-- A Decorated Mailbox 
-- A Stuffed Animal (extra point if it’s Christmas themed) 
-- Inflatable decoration 
-- A Restaurant Menu
-- A Nativity (extra points if you dress up and participate)
-- 3 Non-Perishable food items to donate to a food pantry 
-- Sweep someone’s front porch 
-- Leave five uplifting notes on cars in a parking lot
-- Put away 10 stray shopping carts 
-- Take Out Someone’s Trash
-- Deliver 5 boxes of cookies! (Anonymous or not—your choice!!) 

     Anyway, So we went out and had fun trying to get as many items crossed off as possible in an hour (we took pictures, I'll post them later), and then we met back at our house, added up our points and the winners got to pick the movie! The wives won the scavenger hunt with a total of 114 points to the husbands 77 points, So we picked National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Before we watched the movie, we played a quick game of dirty Santa (or Yankee swap, whatever you want to call it, I call it fun) where Ryan and I got some great stuff!  I got this great Magnet!

 This is perfect because we have been wanting to get better at Family Home Evening So this will be awesome to put on our front door Sunday nights so that Ryan can see it when he leaves Monday morning! It's sure to help us make Family Night a more regular part of our busy lives.

Ryan picked out this frame that we both love!

When we first moved here I was excited but also terrified. I didn't think that I would be able to love anywhere as much as I loved Jacksonville. I thought no one would like me and that I would just be lonely all the time.  How happy I am to be wrong! Now, our home is a revolving door for our friends. They come and go as they please and we wouldn't have it any other way. I fervently pray and thank my Father in Heaven for giving us a place to belong here. May He bless our home and all the crazy people in it, whether they live here or not. :)

Peppermint Meringue and What it Taught Me About Humility.

Yesterday, I made a Peppermint Meringue.

Let me rephrase that.

Yesterday, I TRIED to make a Peppermint Meringue.

It didn't go well.

I had no idea what went wrong! I thought I followed the recipe EXACTLY as it said to. but after beating that sucker for almost an hour and a half, (call me what you want, but I'm no quitter.) It still only resembled a slightly thicker and better smelling bowl of elmers glue. Like this:

See? Not a peak in sight! So I gave up and dumped the whole thing in the trash. Of course, I wasn't satisfied with not knowing what the problem was so I investigated. I found that although I followed the recipe to the T, I still made the meringue wrong. I added the sugar too quickly, and I added it too soon. So really, my meringue never had a chance.  It would have stayed this way no matter how long or fast I was beating it. I didn't have all the information I needed to be successful.

So I went on with my chores, and I thought about that darn Meringue all day long.  I thought about how I wished that I had had someone there to teach me how to do it correctly, and I realized that I had had that opportunity, and I didn't take it.  A woman from our church brought Ryan and I a pie yesterday as a thank you for helping her with her roof. It was delicious. Chocolate cream pie with a- you guessed it- meringue on top.  She made the whole thing from scratch and she was right there, RIGHT when I was freaking out over my bowl of paste, and I could have just asked her! I even thought about doing it but, I was too embarrassed to show her my messy house and my failure of a recipe.

I do this a lot.  I don't like being looked at like I'm dumb so I don't ask for help. I just act like I know what I'm doing until I can figure out how to make it look passable. I did it with school, I did it with sewing, I do it REGULARLY with Ryan, I did it with this stupid meringue, and I even do it in my relationship with Christ. Why do I do this? What is my problem?!?!? The answer is simple.

I'm a prideful person.

It's not the first time I've heard it. but I've never admitted how much of a problem it is. Pride really is the definition of getting in your own way  Being embarrassed? Being afraid of what someone will think of you? It's a vanity, and it prevents you from being the best that you can be.

So over the past 24 hours I've had this HUGE  piece of revelation dawn on me.but changing is a lot easier said than done.  How do you just stop being afraid? One of my favorite things I have ever heard is this. "Fear is the opposite of Faith." So in this situation, by being afraid of what others will think, that shows a lack of faith in my friends, and even worse, a lack of faith in myself. And it's all completely unfounded. They've never done anything to make me think that they wouldn't continue to love me, even if I was an imbecile. I am not stupid, so why would they think that I am? It's just a big bag of silliness. It's a waste of time. and I hate wasting time.  This guy said something really neat about discovering humility in ourselves. "We don't discover humility by thinking less of ourselves; We discover humility by thinking less about ourselves." So let's think less about ourselves, and think more of those around us. In every way.

Isn't it amazing what you can learn from a bowl of sugar and egg whites?

New Layout! New Outlook!

It looks great right?

I'm IN LOVE with the new look of my blog! It's all thanks to my friend Ashley Ziegler over at  From A to Z. She is a talented, beautiful and inspirational person to me, and I'm so glad that she was willing to help me make my blog look like me!

With this new layout, I'm looking forward to a new year! I'm going to be writing a lot more often, and about a lot of new things! I'll be writing about new recipes that I try, my scripture studies, new fitness plans (I have to be accountable somewhere, amiright?)  memories I create with my family, and parties/activities I'm planning! As I look forward to 2015, I have a lot of goals for myself. Most of these I will talk about in a later post. However, I want to be more Christ-centered in my life. I want to be more open about my testimony and come closer to Christ. So really, why wait? I'm starting now and I'm looking forward to the journey! I can't wait to share this holiday season and coming year with you! Thank you for coming along with me!

Humility

With Humble Heart

Text by: Zara Sabin

With humble heart, 

I bow my head and think of thee,

O Savior, Lord. 

I take the water and the bread

To show remembrance of thy word. 

Help me remember, I implore,

Thou gav'st thy life on Calvary,

That I might live forevermore

And grow, dear Lord, to be like thee

To be like thee! I lift my eyes

From earth below 

Toward heaven above

That I may learn from vaulted skies

How I my worthiness can prove. 

As I walk daily here on earth,

Give me thy Spirit as I seek

A change of heart,

Another birth, 

And grow, dear Lord, 

To be like thee. 

Hotel Living

So, Ryan and I are moving into our new place tomorrow. We are really excited about this new step in getting settled here in Texas. Mostly though, we are excited to not be living in hotels anymore.

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of pros to living in hotels and when I was younger it was definitely one of my bucket list things to live in a hotel. But now that I can successfully say that I've crossed that off of my bucket list, I'm pretty sure that I won't be needing to have this experience anymore.

We've been staying in the Quality Inn and Suites in Irving, and I have to say, as low-budget hotels go, this is absolutely the place to stay. They are remodeling so they have some quirks, but all in all it's a really lovely place to stay, and it's definitely worth the $50 a night.  Free breakfast, nice gym and business center, and super comfy beds. :) We stayed in a different room every week so we're well acquainted with all the different areas of the building. Personally, I liked the 3rd floor the most, but that's not surprising since they are renovating from the top floor down, and all of the rooms are pretty good. And the breakfast is delicious.  There's just ONE THING about hotel life that I really really dislike.

HOUSEKEEPING 

Now let me be clear. The housekeeping staff in this hotel is excellent. Really. Top shelf. The problem is me.

I hate it when people clean my space.  I just hate it.  I don't even like it when people do my laundry at the dry cleaners. I don't know what's wrong with me. Some people would kill to have a maid service come in and take care of their house. Some people just get stressed when it's time for cleaning, but not me. Nope, for me, I find it therapeutic and relaxing. I know what you're thinking, "Wait 'til you have kids. It won't be so relaxing." and that may be true. but for now, I'll happily hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the hotel door and wash out my own cups. :)

~Cheryl

Testimony Tuesday- Faith

First of all. I'm fully aware that's it's Wednesday, although, the days are starting to run together.

I was trying to decide what to write about this week but every single thing I came up with was "blah, I hate that." or "ugh. I not this week." and THEN I saw that a couple of my blogger friends are starting a blog series called "Testimony Tuesday", where on the first Tuesday of every month, they write about a given topic. All members of different faiths are invited to join this blog series, and you can find the post to link up to here. By the time I actually decided that I wanted to join, it was too late for me to write on Tuesday, so here's my Testimony Tuesday one day late. For the record. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. and you can learn more about my worldwide, 16 million member church, here.

This months topic is: Faith

I'm a big believer that music is one of my greatest teachers. There is a children's song sung in our church with the simple title of "Faith" It reads as thus:
1. Faith is knowing the sun will rise, lighting each new day.
Faith is knowing the Lord will hear, my prayers each time I pray.
Faith is like a little seed: If planted, it will grow.
Faith is a swelling within my heart.
When I do right, I know.

2. Faith is knowing I lived with God before my mortal birth.
Faith is knowing I can return when my life ends on earth.
Faith is trust in God above; In Christ, who showed the way.
Faith is strengthened; I feel it grow, whenever I obey.

This goes along with Hebrews 11:1 (KJV) "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Here we find the basic concept of faith. Faith is a knowledge of things that you cannot see but that you know to be true. Just as when the sun sets in the evening, we have know definite knowledge that the sun will rise again the next morning, but we believe that it will.

In the Book of Mormon, as well as the Bible, we compare faith to a seed. In Matthew 17:20 (KJV) Jesus says "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you."

Faith is an incredible source of power. It gives us the power to move mountains if we believe that we can. It gives us power and strength to endure impossible trials that we would be unable to handle if we had no belief that there was a purpose to it and that it would be for our good. There is an OLD one woman show by Steven Kapp Perry called "Polly" and in one of the songs she says:

"Could you celebrate a birthday knowing life would soon be past you? Could you spend the sweat to build a house you knew would not outlast you? Could you bear to love the children, who would die before their season? We'd miss so much of happiness and maybe that's the reason not to know! To free us from the burden of the future, and make a space for joy!"

So that's the answer isn't it? Faith in God and Faith in His Plan allows us to have a fullness of joy in our lives. That one day, we will be free from our pains and afflictions. That even now, as we go through them, we are never alone. I love the peace that my faith brings to me and I love knowing that with that faith, comes a perfect brightness of hope.

~Cheryl

Five Things I've Learned About Marriage.

I was sitting in bed last night. Ryan was asleep next to me and I was playing on Facebook when I was suppose to be sleeping. Ryan rolled over and woke up just for a few seconds. Just long enough to say "Happy Anniversary Babe" and go back to sleep.

And I couldn't help but smile.

Marriage is one of the hardest things I've ever done ever in my entire life. It's harder than walking after back surgery, or getting back behind the wheel of a car after you're in a wreck, and it's far and away harder than any college experiences I had at all. And it certainly hasn't been all roses and cotton candy. There are some days when it's like a scene from a horror movie. Those days are few and far between, but still, they happen. But it's also the most wonderful thing. The only thing that is more difficult than marriage, is NOT being with Ryan. Having him gone, whether on his mission or gone for a summer internship. Saying goodnight when he dropped me off after a date, or saying goodbye when he leaves for work in the morning. Having him gone really does make me feel like I'm missing half of my appendages. I've learned so much over this time.Mostly about myself, but also a few things about marriage. Most of these things are things that people told me to begin with when I was engaged, but I didn't listen and learned them the hard way. Now pass them down to others I know,and they don't listen and end up having to learn them the hard way. NONE of them are things that I'm perfect at, but with my wonderfully patient husband, I keep working on them and getting a little better every day.

So without further ado, here are...

1) Never discuss anything important between the hours of 9pm and 5 am. And eat first.
-- This one is important. Ryan and I hate arguing, but it never fails that early in our marriage we would wait until just before bed to have important discussions about finances, or having kids, or moving, or anything that takes more than 5 minutes to actually come to a conclusion about. By then, we were both so tired that we couldn't have a rational conversation! Also, we both start resenting each other for "not being able to go to bed angry" and JUST WANTING TO SLEEP. Not to mention THIS study done in 2007 that says that brains that are sleep-deprived are 60% more reactive to negative and disturbing images and feelings. So most of those conversations, instead of ending in a resolution, ended in Ryan sleeping on the couch and me crying in the closet. I'm sure the rest of you know that feeling. Wait? The rest of you don't cry in your closets? Well, just me then. That's cool. Anyway. So now, we TRY to not bring things up that are dreadfully important after 9. If we do, it's to tell each other, "Hey, we need to go over the budget tomorrow" and we pick another time to talk about it. Then, when that time comes, we make sure we've both eaten first because really, who wants to talk about finances with a hungry bear? No one. So to those people that say "Never go to bed angry" I say poo. It's better to go to bed and work it out in the morning, but ultimately, it's better just not to start the argument at all.

2) Always think the best automatically.
-- We've all done it. You or your spouse is making dinner or some other task, when the other comes in and says something that can be unintentionally offensive. So one is presented with a choice. You can either get offended and start a fight, or you can go the other direction. I've found, after extensive research, that Ryan never wants to hurt me intentionally. That realization has helped me to be able to not get offended as often. If he says something hurtful, I ask him if something else happened that day to make him cranky. Usually, the answer is yes, and we can talk it out better, instead of getting into an unnecessary argument.

3) Let it Go.
-- This is not some cheesy "Frozen" reference about letting go of your own inhibitions and being yourself, although, that would be very valid. No. This is about picking your battles. Is it annoying that your husband chews loudly? Yes. Is it annoying that your wife take forever to get ready when you are trying to go out? Absolutely! However, are those things important enough to make an issue out of it? No. Frankly, it's my belief that when sometimes we point things out to make people feel bad, and in turn make ourselves feel better. Instead, when we let go of anger and forgive each others shortcomings, we  come to a deeper understanding of each other, and really, isn't that what love is all about?

4) Service is the easiest way to show love.
-- There is this fantastic book called the Five Love Languages. You can learn more about it here. Basically, it's about how all of us give and receive love in different ways. For example, my love language is Words of Affirmation and I also enjoy it when people give me gifts (for those of you that know me personally this is not a surprise) For Ryan, it's Acts of Service. Now, generally they mean things like, take out the garbage, or make lunch for them, or something like that. Which is all very nice, but not particularly in my wheelhouse, I'm more of a "Why do I need to make him lunch when he knows where everything is and is a grown adult" kind of person. :)
Anyway, because I love Ryan and want him to know that I've tried to get better about doing little things. And it has moved mountains! Also, I would submit that even if your significant other's love language is NOT Acts of Service, showing love in the way that they can recognize it, even if it's not the way that you normally would feel comfortable doing, IS a service. You are doing something for them so that they can feel loved, regardless of what you get out of it.  You get the opportunity to be completely selfless. And that's a pretty beautiful thing.

5) When in doubt- Pray.
-- I can't even talk about how important this is. Often Ryan and I are agreeing on something, but because we understand things differently or because we have different reasons for coming to the same conclusions, it's hard to realize that sometimes. Or sometimes, we just need help getting through something together and we don't know how.  When those times come, I pray. I pray "please help us understand each other." or "please help us find a way", or "please just keep us together while we ride this out." and every single time, that prayer is answered. Not always in the way we expect, but always answered.

I'm so grateful for my marriage. For the opportunity that I have to be married to such a wonderful and encouraging man. He is my other (often better) half and I can't imagine it being any other way without my heart breaking. So Happy Anniversary Sweet Man. You're my hero. Thanks for Eternity.

~Cheryl

I.H.A.R.M.

I'm normally very private about the groups I'm in on Facebook, but today, I'm so proud I can't not talk about it. Most of you that read this blog know that I waited for Ryan while he was on his mission in Argentina. During that time, I was a member of the Facebook group "Waiting for a Missionary" it was a wonderful support system and resource for information from girls (and sometimes guys) in different stages of "the wait" and to help new girls as they began their journey as well. I want to state here that this is a VERY safe group. It is completely private and highly moderated. There are several administrators and anyone that asks to join has to be approved. No catfishing going on. :) As we all got older and started to get married (some to their missionaries, some not) and have babies, several girls began a group called "I Have a Return Missionary" or "I.H.A.R.M." for short. This group is also very private and highly moderated, although it's hardly ever necessary. Before anyone freaks out, let me say, I have met many of the girls on this group, I've skyped with some, spoken on the phone, texted, and even met them in person. And they have met in person several of the other women that I haven't met personally. We are from everywhere, we have girls in Texas, Utah, California, Hawaii, the Netherlands, South America, Virginia, Canada, and the UK, just to name a few. Most of us are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Anyway, on this group, we talk about many different things, marriages, mortgages, pregnancy, raising kids, the gospel, work, finances and how we make them work for us, etc. It's wonderful and a completely accepting and encouraging environment. For example:

Individual- "Guys, I feel so down on myself"
Everyone in the Group- "Don't! You're amazing! We love you! You are beautiful and wonderful and Heavenly Father loves you!"

It's also a great place for advice, for example, it's not unusual to hear wise women saying to someone "That sounds like a problem, you should talk about it and get it fixed before you get married, because marriage won't fix it." or "You deserve better!" Honestly, you think that Google is the fount of all knowledge? False. I can take a question to IHARM and have a helpful answer in 15 seconds.

The women (girls only!) in this group are incredibly talented, from photographers to hairdressers, cake decorators, teachers, a (former) bra whisperer, party planners, stay at home mom's and more! We celebrate everything. New love, engagements, marriages, pregnancies, babies, homes, graduations, jobs, a new pet, you name it, we celebrate it. Along with that, we mourn with each other. We mourn break-ups and marital problems. We mourn miscarriages and death. We pray for each other and hope for joy in each womans heart. And it's not a fake "oh that's too bad." It's a REAL feeling pain and sadness for each other. I've always been touched by this, but never more than I was yesterday.

Yesterday. A friend from IHARM (yes, I said friend.) Posted that while she had been on vacation for the past few weeks, a quick respite before she and her husband move across country next week, a part on her sprinkler system broke and left a stream of water shooting into her attic right above her bedroom. So when she and her husband got home yesterday morning, from their relaxing vacation, they instead found their bedroom ceiling caved in, the entire contents ruined and the basement below in danger as well. Instantly after posting this there were prayers and well wishes coming in, shortly after that there were people asking how they could help, what size clothing she wears, if she needs help with clean-up, where they can mail things. WOMEN THAT HAD NEVER MET THIS GIRL OR HER FAMILY WERE ASKING HOW THEY COULD ASSIST HER IN REBUILDING HER LIFE. A gofundme account was set up by a separate friend so that sisters not local could help by donating money and people were offering to pick items up from other sisters to take them to this girl and her husband as they prepare to move. So far, enough money has been raised for she and her husband to be able to stay in a hotel after they move while they rebuild and sell their current house before they can buy a house in their new area. As I watched all of this unfold I couldn't help but be overcome with gratitude that I know such giving generous women.

To me, this group is the definition of a worldwide sisterhood. We bear one another's burdens and we find joy in womanhood. We teach and preach the gospel to each other and we have hearts that are knitted together in love. Now that I've used as many Relief Society cliches as possible, I want to say that I love these women! I love that they are my friends and that when I talk to them I feel the Spirit burn in my heart. They are truly my Sisters in Christ. Sometimes, we think that we can only find this kind of sisterhood in our local congregations, or with people we've known forever and ever. But I found it in a group of women that had never met before, but decided to love each other anyway, because we are Daughters of God. I'll forever be grateful for the women I've met through this experience, for the examples they have been and continue to be, and for the support that I've received from them.

In short- I.H.A.R.M. is A.W.E.S.O.M.E. and I L.O.V.E it.

~Cheryl

Clomid-- Cycle 1

I don't. I don't even know how to talk about this. Ryan and I FINALLY found the right doctor. The doctor that walked in and sat down with me in her office and said the following: "It's nice to meet you, what's going on? Start from the beginning, and tell me what you want." And then she actually listened. LISTENED. When I was done telling her about the past 4 years. I felt so relieved! She hadn't interrupted me once. It was amazing. When I was finished she looked at me and said "You've done 80% of my work for me! Alright! Let's get this done!" She assigned Ryan and I to do a couple final tests. (HCG's By the way? Not terrible, but certainly not a picnic either ;))After those tests, my doctor wrote me a prescription for 50 mg of Clomid and told me we would test again later in the month. Last Friday, I went and had my blood drawn to see if I had ovulated. My nurse called me Tuesday and said what I expected but was hoping not to hear. It hadn't worked. I would have to try again with a higher dosage of meds to see if THAT would work. I knew it was coming, but my heart was still broken. I couldn't help holding on to that little bit of hope that I had that MAYBE Ryan and I's baby would be here soon. That I wouldn't be "Left Behind" again. I was so angry and hurt and I felt incredibly broken. I texted Ryan and told him that I hadn't ovulated and he simply replied "I'm sorry". And I was sorry too.So sorry. I felt like I was broken. Like I couldn't do this thing that Ryan so deserved from me. He would be such a wonderful father. I know that he would. So I often, in my bad moments, feel like a failure that I can't provide that for him the way that I should be. It's times like this when I shake my fist at myself and say "STUPID BODY! JUST DO YOUR JOB!" It makes me so angry. And Tired. However, Ryan came home that evening and said to me "It's okay, we'll just try again." and gave me a hug. That's all I needed. He really is a wonderful man. He has a way of taking total fear and depression and longing and turn it into hope, just by holding me for a minute. I love him so much. So we continue on again in a couple months. We are continuously full of hope that someday, in our Heavenly Father's time, we will have our own special miracle. For now, we will find joy in learning how to lean on the Lord as we work towards our goal of a family. :) Til Better Days! Cheryl

Last Firsts 2014. Part 1

This morning, Ryan left for his first day of class for his very last semester of college. Of course, presumably, he will be attending graduate school at some point, but that won't be for a few years, so we don't count that. It has been 5- sometimes very long- years and all I have been able to think about all morning has been when he started college to begin with. 

My husband is amazing. He has always had a thirst for knowledge and a love of learning. It's one of the things that I love about him, even when it's aggravating. 😄 He is the only person I know, who can work 2, really 3, jobs, and have a marriage, a calling, and 19 hours of class a semester (not including competition teams and extracurriculars) all while making almost a 4.0 every semester, and STILL loves going to school in the mornings. I wish I was like that, but ha, I'm lucky if I still like waking up in the morning. 😉

But this first is a little sad because in a way, this really does mark the end of a chapter of Ryan and I's life together. Ryan and I got married 6 months after he got home from his mission. And 2 months later he started school. We've never had a marriage or a life that didn't focus around class schedules or making sure Ryan had time for homework or studying, or budgeting so that Ryan could go to a competition. So in a way, when we go to bed on May 17th, we'll be saying goodbye to the entire life we've known together, and when we wake up on the 18th, We'll have to start all over again. 

I think it will be an exciting adventure to see where we go from here, but I'm going to relish these last few months. I'll never have them again. :)