A Christmas Morning to Remember!

Forever, Really.

So Ryan and I have been discussing expanding our family for the past year or so. I have known for awhile that I wanted to have kids quickly, Ryan has WANTED kids, he's just been a little concerned as to the cost and the hardships that can come with them. So it's kind of become a MAJOR source of many arguements, much stress, and some other very intense emotions between the two of us. Mostly, the thing we have "agreed" about, and I use that term incredibly loosly, is we won't stop it from happening.

I so hated that agreement. It made me feel like Ryan didn't want our kids, like he thought I wasn't good enough yet to be a mother, like he was KEEPING my kids from me.

I know that sounds rediculous. But it is how I felt.


A few weeks ago (I guess right after thanksgiving) We had a talk, a long, long, LONG talk. Anyway, Ryan ended up giving me a blessing, and afterwardsm I just told him "I Love You, and I know that you're scared, but Our kids want to be here, and you won't let them because you are afraid." as well as some other things. He said he would SERIOUSLY start thinking about having kids. I didn't think he meant it. It's happened before, I don't know if I'm just impatient or if he really does think about things this slowly, but when he starts thinking about things he could take months! Maybe even a whole nother YEAR! That prospect was not good for me, but I didn't want to argue anymore so I let it go.

This morning I recieved a Christmas present in the form of a letter. It said the following:

" Hey Cheryl, (you know, that one woman I love with all my heart)

I know that this isn't a real present, but I hope it will do. I wanted to give you a big surprise, and I think this is it, and I'm writing it in pen so you'll know I'm serious.

LET'S HAVE A BABY!

Go on, tell anyone you want. Shout it out to the world. I love you and I want tyou to be happy. Are you surprised?

I've been sitting on this decision now for about a week and a half. When I told you I'd think about it, I meant it, but Layne helped me make up my mind.

The last time Asha took Layne to school, Jennifer brought him upstairs with Athena, so I got to hold him. I was really happy to think I had some real reason to hold him. Anyway, it was after our deal that I was thinking about it and I decided that it would be so much better to hold my own kid even with all the challenges and hardwork that go with it.

I wanted you to have a good Christmas, and I wanted this to be a surprise, so I'm sorry if I've caused you any grief over the past week or so about having a baby.

Honey, I Love You, and I hope this Christmas will be a special one in your memory for a long time. Merry Christmas.

Love,
Ryan (That one guy who is kind of an idiot sometimes.)"

So we are actually going to TRY TRY TRY to have a baby! We Want A Baby! I Am So Excited! I feel So CLOSE to Ryan right now, like for the first time in a long time we are really unified in something. I think I am going to save this letter and put it in our baby book when I finally get pregnant.

And above all I have the most wonderful husband ever, and He is going to be a GREAT Daddy. :)